The year Adele won all the Grammys

That’s what the 2012 Grammy Awards will be known as because, WOW, girl makes some awesome music and she has just about zero competition this year. This might be some good news to indie kids, who are still celebrating last year’s massive Arcade Fire upset, 50-something moms and just about everybody in the world. I mean, how can your really hate Adele? I mean REALLY hate her. Personally, I’m tired of hearing her stupid amazing songs every day in my office (I’m looking at you, co-worker who won’t be named), but you gotta give credit where credit is due! But let’s not focus on Adele, let’s just get to the, actually pretty boring, nomination highlights:

  • Record of the Year is somehow between Adele (well duh), Mumford and Sons (I swear that album came out like three years ago), Bon Iver (playasaywhaaat??), and BrunoMarsandKatyPerry (don’t care don’t care don’t care). Who ever expected to see Bon Iver in the running for a Grammy that isn’t Best Album Notes?
  • Adele, Bon Iver, Mumford and Sons, and Kanye West are going to be duking it out for Song of the Year, and if Adele wasn’t going to win for sure, I’d call this thing a good fight! I should probably mention that Bruno Mars is also in the running, but GOD just go away already, Bruno Mars! Who ARE you, even?
  • Bon Iver is ALSO up for Best New Artist because, I don’t know, I guess For Emma, Forever Ago, doesn’t count? I’ll never understand how they do this category. It always seems to be Best Artist Who is New to Any Kind of Mainstream Success. Bon Iver is up against The Band Perry (NOTE: NOT KATY PERRY), J. Cole, Nicki Minaj and Skrillex.
  • Brian Setzer is up for Best Pop Instrumental Album for his album called Setzer Goes Instru-Mental! Gotta love that guy.
  • Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, is nominated for Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album, for a record he made of classic Sinatra-era songs that were lost in the sands of time. My respect wheel for that dude just added a bunch of spokes.
  • Best Rock Album, also known as the Outdated Award For Old Guys, is trying to inject a new sense of youth with this years’ nominees! Well, we still have Jeff Beck, the Foo Fighters and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but joining them are Kings of Leon (ick) and Wilco (rock?)! Those guys are only like, kind of oldish!
  • Oh man, “Black and Yellow” is up for Best Rap Song. I might just shoot myself.
  • The coveted best Alternative Music Album is between some indie heavyweights this year. Bon Iver, Death Cab For Cutie, Foster the People, My Morning Jacket and Radiohead are all fighting for the award because no other “alternative” bands exist anywhere in the world. “Eh, just use the old lists and throw in a new one or two.”–The Grammys

But the big takeaway from this year’s Grammy Nominations is that Adele is going to win everything. Girl was nominated for six awards and she’s probably going to win them all. I mean, did you see that SNL sketch? That’s real life, you guys. Now, I haven’t combed through the entire list of nominations because, to be honest, I’m at work and didn’t realize these were coming out today, so check them all out and make some snarky judgments for yourself!

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