[Abby’s Road] Mephisto’s Wearing Figure Skates

Ok. So I might have said I’d sell my soul to the devil…or pay any amount of money for tickets and/or flight from the US to the UK for the event I am about to go all crazypants about. Now that it is happening (and I am actually living in Western Europe) I am quaking at the thought of spending too much on frivolity while simultaneously trembling with anticipation so violently that I can hardly hold a credit card. I can’t believe it. They actually are doing it. What is “it” you ask??

The Stone Roses are getting together for some reunion gigs. In MANCHESTER.

It was actually last week when the rumors started. Now, anyone who follows Madchester or Cool Britannia news understands that every year since the mid-90s some rag catches wind of a Roses reunion, splashes it all over its pages and the internet causing a world-wide ruckus of fans. Each and every time band members (or ex-members, I should say) react with a resounding, “Fuck no. No idea were you got that info from.” So it isn’t surprising that upon hearing the news this time around fans, me included, were wishful but not holding their collective breath for fear of, once again, utter disappointment. We’ve heard the boy cry wolf one too many times.

Then something interesting happened. Whispers of a press conference last weekend raised eyebrows of every 38 year old still wearing boldly striped tshirts and Puma Suedes on their days off. Reserved thoughts of something actually coming to musical fruition were coming to mind. Against the warnings of other huge fans and old school friends of mine, I began to fall for it as this past Sunday a press conference was scheduled for Tuesday. Fingers crossed, I had happy dreams of John Squire and Ian Brown slinging double dutch ropes on the street as Mani jumped and Reni sold lemonade on the corner. All was right within the Manc world.

Fast forward to Tuesday. The shock of a lifetime hits the presses: 2 (!!) reunion shows scheduled for June 2012 in Manchester followed by a “world tour”. Tickets went on sale TODAY. While I have my doubts that their historically snarky attitudes with each other will allow the band to survive to the world tour part of the equation, I am super happy that it is finally happening. Fans have wanted this for, well…ever. The wrinkled and still somewhat healthy looking lads seem to be besties again in the press photos. I mean, they look happy. But then who wouldn’t be when at £55 a ticket they’ll pocket upwards of 10 million for the Manchester shows alone? They’re singing jubilant songs while nervously jangling the change in their pockets for sure.

Guess who isn’t doing a happy dance? I gave it my college try this morning. I really did. Not one but TWO laptops (plus a telephone), with 150K tickets for 2 shows available via 3 different sites and yours truly can’t manage to wrangle a couple (let alone one) . Sold out in something like 14 minutes. They even added an additional 3rd Manchester show…tickets are g-o-n-e. I had such lofty fantasies of posting a small movie of myself with this column as I squealed with joy upon credit card purchase confirmation. No dice. No goddamn dice. Of course, sooner or later bottom feeders will be selling tickets for 3x as much as the original asking price. Too rich for my blood. So I will hold on tightly to hopes that the newly reunited boys keep their egos in check and follow through with the world tour thingy. They’ve got to come to Munich, right?? We’ll see. And so it goes…

On that somewhat somber note, I bid you fond farewell for a month, dear readers. In my haze to try and forget about The Roses Ticket Debacle 2011 I will boldly trudge toward next week as I embark on a month-long holiday to my homeland. The aforementioned reunion pales in comparison to the ones I anticipate in the coming weeks. So, goodbye, good luck and if anyone has any tickets available at a reasonable price, hit me up. Seriously. Until December…

Happy weekend.

[Abby’s Road is a Knox Road feature published every other Friday.]

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