So it looks like things have escalated in the I’m-a-prepubescent-boy-who-looks-a-bit-too-metrosexual-for-my-own-good-and-caters-to-8-year-old-girl wars. In a move that totally may or may not have left the Bieberverse speechless, this kid Cody Simpson seems to have been spawned in the depths of hell, or something. Where did he come from? Is this new? How far behind the times am I?
I mean, seriously, what a smug looking 13-year-old. Besides the fact that the song is called “iYiYi” (translation: fuck you, English), has a token rapper to futilely try and help with the white boy cred (Flo Rida, who probably recorded this at gunpoint), and has this little boy getting all close with some girl (my mom: “Eww, he’s touching her”)…
Oh, and did I mention the utterly HILARIOUS “your mom” joke in the beginning of the video? Simpson has the comic timing of Chris Farley. The dead version.
Little children should be seen and not heard. Well, they really shouldn’t be seen either. And this one should just be shot.
Jon Reply:
July 2nd, 2010 at 12:19 pm
As morally reprehensible as this comment is, I still laughed.
Agnes Reply:
July 2nd, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Ha! I know. I’m not really like that, but these little turds bring out the worst in me I’m afraid.
Kelbi Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 10:49 pm
ya know, i think all you loser’s commenting on this kids video and the dick who made this blog or whatever it is should go fall off a cliff or get a life, is this all you do? Nag on how pathetic society is today with teen stars? Well news flash if you have kids which im hoping Agnes dosent, that could be them and Id bet on Agnes’ life that you wouldnt say anything you just typed! Justin and Cody are succesful and living the dream, however you people are just old bags who have nothing else to do with there lifes! FYI there way more succesfull than any of you will ever be including the author!
Jon Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 10:59 pm
First of all, yes, it is a blog. Second, this is not all I do. I live quite the nice life. Sometimes you just need to trash the glorification of talentless hacks and the subsequent media takeover, you know? You know. You so totally know. Kewl.
Now, yes, of course Cody and Justin are successful. Are they living the dream? Maybe. I hope they’re enjoying the life they live: the lack of a normal childhood; the adults who control every aspect of their lives, from their musical taste to their clothing; their inevitable failure in society when they turn 19, their fame fades, and they realize they don’t have a music career OR a proper education.
Are they more successful than I’ll ever be? It’s pretty likely. After all, I’m just a dude with a keyboard. But you know what’s important in life? Command of written language. If one in every 10 million people become famous, both of our chances are pretty low. At least I can spell.
Man, Kelbi, I wish you’ll somehow come back to this site and read this. Your move, partner.
I would just like to request more “The Worst Things” posts please. These will balance out the other awesome posts, keeping the universe in check.
Lee Reply:
July 3rd, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Noted.
It seems appropriate that visually Flo Rida looks like he’s in a different video all together. I’m sure he wishes he was.
This kid makes Bieber look like Billy Idol.
Why so harsh.. Though the capri pants were a bit too much.
omg… he is from Australia don’t you think that they have totally different style there? it’s not like everywhere in the world ppl have the same style…
and I think ppl are just jealous because he made a career as a 13 year old and person who wrote that doesn’t do anything and is totally unknown !
Jon Reply:
July 10th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Yeah, it’s true. You got me. I’m super jealous of Sir Simpson. I am neither friends with Flo Rida nor do I have access to excessive amounts of auto-tune.
Also, I’m only hating on him to compensate for my microscopic penis, so there’s that.
Kelbi Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 10:53 pm
aww poor Jon if only we knew rather or not you were being sarcastic! My bet would be you were, especially about the microscopic penis-you could only wish your cock was that big!
Jon Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Kelbi, you’re doing it wrong. Answer my other post. Don’t go everywhere all at once.
I’m waiting for the Bieber/Simpson lightsaber battle that will inevitably be created for the next VMA/Kids Choice Awards (whichever comes first). Then again, these kids probably wouldn’t get the reference… iYiYi’m feeling old.